Certified NOT a scam (probably)

Buy zoins.
Sell zoins.
Cry??

Zoinbase is the boldest, bluest, most legally-distinct place to swap your real muny for imaginary zoins. Built by 3 raccoons in a trenchcoat.

🥸
🤡
👽
🦝
Joined by 12 people (all my alt accounts)

Zoin Price (fake)

$4,206.90

▲ +69.42% today (trust)

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Chart drawn by a toddler. Not financial advice.

ZOI$4,206.90+69.42%DOOD$0.42-13.37%SLM$88.88+3.14%WOB$1.00+0.01%SKB$1,312.50+404%ZOI$4,206.90+69.42%DOOD$0.42-13.37%SLM$88.88+3.14%WOB$1.00+0.01%SKB$1,312.50+404%ZOI$4,206.90+69.42%DOOD$0.42-13.37%SLM$88.88+3.14%WOB$1.00+0.01%SKB$1,312.50+404%

Top zoins right now

These numbers were made up by a goblin in the basement.

Name
Price
Change (lie)
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Zoincoin
ZOI
$4,206.90
+69.42%
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Doodlereum
DOOD
$0.42
-13.37%
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Slimeycoin
SLM
$88.88
+3.14%
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Wobblenote
WOB
$1.00
+0.01%
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Skibidicash
SKB
$1,312.50
+404%

Why Zoinbase??

idk, seemed like a good idea at 3am

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Super Secure

We keep yur zoins in a shoebox under Greg's bed. Greg is very trustworth.

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Zero Fees*

*fees are actually all of the money. it says so in the tiny print you cant read.

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24/7 Support

Screaming into a pillow counts as support if you do it long enough.

How does it work

01

Sign up with ur email (or a fake one, we dont check)

02

Link ur bank account. yes all of it.

03

Click the big button that says BUY

04

Cry when the number goes down

Real customers. Real regret.

★★★★☆
"i put in $10 and got out $0.03. best experience of my life."
Larry, 47, ghost
★★★★☆
"my wife left me for a Zoinbase engineer. would zoin again."
Chad, professional Chad
★★★★☆
"wat"
An owl
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Start ur zoin journey

It's like gambling but ur laptop makes the whirring noise.