Certified NOT a scam (probably)
Zoinbase is the boldest, bluest, most legally-distinct place to swap ur real muny for imaginary zoins. Built by 3 raccoons in a trenchcoat.
Zoin Price (fake)
$4,206.90
▲ +69.42% today (trust)
Chart drawn by a toddler. Not financial advice ️
These numbers were made up by a goblin in the basement
idk, seemed like a good idea at 3am
We keep yur zoins in a shoebox under Greg's bed. Greg is very trustworth. Except on tuesdays.
*fees are actually all of ur money. it says so in the tiny print u cant read. sry.
Screaming into a pillow counts as support if u do it long enough. we hear u king
Sign up with ur email (or a fake one, we dont check) ️
Link ur bank account. yes all of it. all the accounts
Click the big button that says BUY ️
Cry when the number goes down
"i put in $10 and got out $0.03. best experience of my life."
"my wife left me for a Zoinbase engineer. would zoin again."
"wat"
It's like gambling but ur laptop makes the whirring noise